Why would I want to destroy something I had helped build?

The last notes of the lilting melody faded and dissolved into the surrounding air. A pair elongated fingers with their black fingernails left the white keys of the instrument. She opened her mouth and sang the belated verses of the Requiem,

"Skin as fair as the snow's, the rainbow showed.
Hair as light as the spider's web, the wind bellowed.
Lips as scarlet as the ruby's, the miner bowed.
Voice as captivating as the angel's, the devil cowed."

A tear rolled down her down her cheek. But the more wrecked she felt, the more intensely the words burst out, the more clearly they were sung, they were heard. The more clearly they were brought across.

"Heart as pure as gold, the robber sang.
Eyes as clear as the crystal's, the prism shined.
And her beauty..."

Her voice cracked. She could not stand it anymore. Hands plastered onto her face, a loud crash of notes was heard as her head collapsed onto the pathetic piano. Her sobs reverberated within her, shaking her to her very core. But she had to finish this. Her tear-stained face looked forward determinedly at the score sheets in front of her. She had to. She must.

"Your beauty..."

Her voice cracked again. But she bit her already bleeding lip and carried on.

"Your beauty... as iridescent as the morning butterfly,"

Her eyes closed against the tears the threatened to envelop her.

"the lover, sighed."
-----

Recently, I've killed so many people that I've lost count. My mum says that I dream of those kinda stuff is because I hate life. I don't know. It feels so wrong yet so... right. I keep closing my eyes too and enjoy covering my eyes. Especially if it's my fedora. It's black and it's kinda thick (duh). It shuts out all the light and provides comforting darkness. It feels safe. Maybe it's because I'm trying to run away. I feel like I've always been doing so. Run run run run. But like what happened to the gingerbread man in the story, reality is catching up on me, it's jaws snapping at my heels. I don't hate life though. I am tired of it. And I'm tired of running. So I'll walk back, if it's not too late :)