My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, I'll be with you
-My Love, Sia

Yea I am aware, it's not that I am not. It's just that somehow, ever since the last, I didn't dare believe in it again. I don't dare to believe in it for now. Maybe a year or two later, four, or five, I don't know. I'm just being melodramatic but that is how I really feel for now, you know.

Yea I like you, I genuinely do. It's just I don't want to believe that I do, I do not want to believe that it is true. I don't want history to repeat itself again and again. To get hurt again and again. I know it sounds cowardly but I am afraid of pain. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I am so sorry you were a victim of this phobia of mine. I guess that perhaps if it remains like this over the one, two, three, four or five years, maybe I can consider. Or just jump into it. I don't know. You will make a good boyfriend, I know. I know, too, that you deserve better, and not some battered up toy that is afraid of it's own reflection.

I am so sorry that I have not gotten over you.